better than ever!!!!!!!!!!

i am a survivor of domestic violance . yes ive been in the hospital in the chicago area sence september now... its been a trying time seeing how mike and stan have lyed to all of my friends and sayd all these crazy things about me. i have been crying alot and seem to have nobody to talk to at times but there is always god...... i have been beetin raped had money stolen took a bus with only 30 $ to my name knowing i would be homeless in the end and was hoping those friends i loved very much would at least be there for me to talk to when i needed them. but i relize they have there own issues too and this was just anouther battle for me to do alone... but im much stronger now than i was. though yes im in a group home with 6 other women who have also been abused. im going back to school and reestablishing my life. i am learning im happyer than i ever was and thats better than anything i ever had before..... thank you god for the amazing strength you've given me i love u soo..

Learning to be a survivor

Learning to be a survivor.... is never a easy chore.
but you have to learn to turn your pain and anger around
and put it into energy you can use to turn yourself around and tell yourself
your not the problem the problem is with those who attack you and fail to understand..
Forget the past and just stick to those few who do value your friendship more than the others..

thought for the day.

For today only do not anger,
do not worry.
Be grateful and do your work with appreciation,
For this is Spiritual Awakening.
Be kind to all living things.

In the morning and at night, With hands held in prayer,
Think this with your mind, Chant this with your mouth.
Keep good intentions in your heart.

my spiritual journey

here i am stranded and alone
i push myself up after I've been shattered
blood in my hands
blood and tears all over my face
my eyes are swollen and bruised
from being punched in my face
but yet i crawl over to the stream
and crawl my way in to the salty waters
i let out a short scream
as the salt from the water enters my skin
burns my eyes
and yet it cleanses the skin
i am week but yet i stay strong
i pull out my sword
and clean off the dirt and blood that has soaked in
after i cleanse my skin i fall to the ground
and try to regain my strength again
i have learnd in this life
i can't trust anyone but myself
the only thing that keeps me strong is my faith
so now i am on a one mans journey
i'm going to become the spiritual warrior i'm ment to be
so i hold my sword up to the stars and the moon and look up to the dead of the night
and say

"my lady and lord
gods and goddess of the heavens above
i now ask of u to heal my body and soul
heal me of my wounded heart not of my love
but of the wounds of the past that have caused me so much fear and sadness.
i ask you to please take my wounds and fears away
and take away my tears and make me strong again...
I will now devote myself as a spiritual warrior to you and ask you to give me strength so i can protect and provide for this beautiful family of mine... i now only devote my life to you & my love Jacquie and her family and may this family be strong together and let nothing break this bond we share.... but with you i will remain strong. let me see the light in this darkness show me the way towards the peace and light... let this change begin tonight and show me what i'm ment to do. so i will fullfill my destined path for you...."

so mote it be
amen

it is the begining of a change
the begining of my spiritual journey has now begun
let me not fail now
but succed

a place called home

my soul is shattered
ripped apart and torn...
i have been lied to
i have been raped
i have been used and abused..
but yet they still attack
with words or fists...
don't people have any heart ?
i have given up
and my body and soul is yet torn once again...
im done
the only thing left is my heart
and i hold it close
because the only one that deserves it
is quite a distance away
but now i will proudly travel the distance that needs to be traveled
and give her the key
shes the only one that deserves this .
so I'm going to proudly hand over the key
and slowly heal myself again.....
only this time I'm not going to worry about whats going to be given in return
for now i am a wounded solder heading home ......
this is where my heart belongs
a place called home..

something that makes u think

SLOW DANCE



Have you ever watched kids



On a merry-go-round?



Or listened to the rain



Slapping on the ground?



Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?



Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?



You better slow down.



Don't dance so fast.



Time is short.



The music won't last.



Do you run through each day



On the fly?


When you ask How are you?



Do you hear the reply?



When the day is done



Do you lie in your bed



With the next hundred chores



Running through your head?



You'd better slow down


Don't dance so fast.



Time is short.



The music won't last.



Ever told your child,



We'll do it tomorrow?



And in your haste,



Not see his sorrow?



Ever lost touch,



Let a good
friendship die



Cause you never had time



To call
and say,'Hi'



You'd better slow down.



Don't dance
so fast.



Time is short.



The music won't
last.



When you run so fast to get somewhere



You
miss half the fun of getting there.



When you worry and hurry
through your day,



It is like an unopened
gift....



Thrown away.



Life is not a
race.


Do take it slower



Hear the
music



Before the song is over.


Unknown

part 2

today i have cryed many many tears
but im over them now
i am safe for now
soon i will have to find anouther place to go
but for now i am safe
whare i will go i havn't a clue
but in time i will see
i have to be strong
these kids may not be my own
but i have to prove to them i can survive anything
so they to can survive anything too
right now i am numb
because my body is in pain
but mentally im being strong
because i know in my heart my friends
are now my family too...